lip & karen | season one
Secret: sometimes I go through okc’s potential matches and scroll through aimlessly hoping that magically my boxing coach from last summer will be there so I can go on drinking dates with her and she can teach me to defend myself and also love me as a person.
One of my very best friends works at a corset shop, and she’s always posting pictures of herself on facebook and everywhere else of herself in corsets. She’s one of the most aesthetically pleasing people I know, and it kills me because for her aesthetics are a tool of control and manipulation (not in a bad way). It’s a way for her to feel powerful and inhabit a space. When you look at her, she commands the space she takes up but also the space around her. I don’t know if you noticed, but I spend a good deal of my time looking at the way people, especially women and people whose bodies are outliers, take up space and how they feel about taking up space. Most of my heroes or people I admire are people who not only inhabit spaces solidly but who assert the fact that they take up space by commanding the space around them.
& I think what’s especially difficult for me but what always makes me admire my friend is that for me it’s empowering just to give myself permission to take up space. So when I go days without eating or am in a room full of people but refuse to speak or whatever it may be, I have to stop and give myself permission just to be there. No one else can give me that permission. I just have to know that I have as much right to exist bodily as everyone else.
& I think that I’m writing this down because today I was finally able to articulate one of the reasons I really admire my friend. It’s not that she’s always confident or feels secure in her skin, but it’s that when she’s insecure, she makes sure to take up more space than she actually does.
It’s like when we used to sing together in choir. I’m the singer who values control to the extent that if I feel like I can’t control the sound, I shut down. I sing quietly until I have it (and it’s not until I’m confident that I have it - it’s until I have it), then I sing as loudly as is appropriate and necessary. She was the singer who feels she deserves to sing it correctly regardless of whether or not she is. She’s the singer who, when she’s off key or out of rhythm, sings LOUDER because success isn’t a controlled and personal process but an assertion of that success. Hear me. I’m excellent regardless of what you’re actually hearing. & I just… you know… I just love her or whatever haha
I redrew Kovu as a human because I’m a huge square.
3 hour Speedpaint for Lionel
TIME TRAVELING SMILEODON WOOOAAHHH
I wanted to try animating linelessly. (I also wanted an excuse to avoid animating my film character for a few hours…)